Ran for 20 minutes at 7.2 mph before my torn toes stopped me. Came back home, put gauze, taped them up and went for badminton... I think I can hit harder now, its more about the technique than the arm power it seems. Or maybe my arms are getting stronger too. I ask myself why I bother to keep myself so fit.... like do I actually think I'll make it back to the national team? Its the kind of feeling when deep down you know ur good but u know that others are better than you. Sigh... why must I be so competitive?
Got another job today, doing data analysis and typing for a disabled grad student. I realized that after the countless hours of typing practice on icq and msn and irc... I type like a bumblebee now. 73 words a minutes, that's pretty good, and 100% for accuracy. But gosh... I didn't even know I had to do a typing test! The grad student's called Lois, she's pretty nice, but i think there's something wrong with her wrist or her fingers so she can't type. Which makes me realize that I am very lucky to be sitting here blogging. Gosh if I couldn't type or use a mouse... it'll be like the end of the world!
Some people in Penn are really nice, and it warms my heart especially when most of the time people just seem to take me for granted. Two days in a row, people have asked how I was. Joyce's really really nice... i just feel at ease talking to her, and when she asked how i was, it just seemed so sincere like she really cared. U know how some people just ask cos they should ask? It was so different. Same with Boon today too... his "ni hao mah" was like SO REAL. I'm glad such people exist in this world.
So I'm working 20 hours a week now. But I actually feel like I'm managing my time much better, and everytime i'm free i make it a point to do work or study. Though I can't stop questioning myself, "why am I studying?" Yes yes... blame it on my competitive spirit again. I dunno why I just cannot accept the fact that I might not be as good as others. And like I have to win all the time... it just makes me try to do insane things. Good or bad?
Walked back alone from badminton practice, and all I could see was hordes of people going out partying or drinking or eating... laughing and giggling, all nicely dressed up with make up and dunno what else. And couples holding hands and kissing and hugging. And I was walking back alone. So what shall I do on a Friday night, I ask myself. Work? Read the news? Sleep? Think?
In the end, I realized... haha, I should probably eat dinner. Its funny how I dun even remember to eat throughout the day cos I stuff so many things into my schedule. And then I get ravenously hungry at night but there's nothing much to eat at home. Then I start thinking how silly I was to forget to get something on the way back. Yeah I'm thin now... can fit into small jeans. Which is good in a way I guess, not as concerned about being fat anymore. Hahahahaha... Though I would trade for more muscles. Gosh I'm starting to sound so bimboish.
So I'm sitting here on a Friday night talking to a white screen that does not reply. I have emails to reply to and people to write to, and given the fact that those people are real and living, I really ought to be communicating with them instead of with my own brain cells. Yet I continue typing, I actually think this is therapeutic.
Got another job today, doing data analysis and typing for a disabled grad student. I realized that after the countless hours of typing practice on icq and msn and irc... I type like a bumblebee now. 73 words a minutes, that's pretty good, and 100% for accuracy. But gosh... I didn't even know I had to do a typing test! The grad student's called Lois, she's pretty nice, but i think there's something wrong with her wrist or her fingers so she can't type. Which makes me realize that I am very lucky to be sitting here blogging. Gosh if I couldn't type or use a mouse... it'll be like the end of the world!
Some people in Penn are really nice, and it warms my heart especially when most of the time people just seem to take me for granted. Two days in a row, people have asked how I was. Joyce's really really nice... i just feel at ease talking to her, and when she asked how i was, it just seemed so sincere like she really cared. U know how some people just ask cos they should ask? It was so different. Same with Boon today too... his "ni hao mah" was like SO REAL. I'm glad such people exist in this world.
So I'm working 20 hours a week now. But I actually feel like I'm managing my time much better, and everytime i'm free i make it a point to do work or study. Though I can't stop questioning myself, "why am I studying?" Yes yes... blame it on my competitive spirit again. I dunno why I just cannot accept the fact that I might not be as good as others. And like I have to win all the time... it just makes me try to do insane things. Good or bad?
Walked back alone from badminton practice, and all I could see was hordes of people going out partying or drinking or eating... laughing and giggling, all nicely dressed up with make up and dunno what else. And couples holding hands and kissing and hugging. And I was walking back alone. So what shall I do on a Friday night, I ask myself. Work? Read the news? Sleep? Think?
In the end, I realized... haha, I should probably eat dinner. Its funny how I dun even remember to eat throughout the day cos I stuff so many things into my schedule. And then I get ravenously hungry at night but there's nothing much to eat at home. Then I start thinking how silly I was to forget to get something on the way back. Yeah I'm thin now... can fit into small jeans. Which is good in a way I guess, not as concerned about being fat anymore. Hahahahaha... Though I would trade for more muscles. Gosh I'm starting to sound so bimboish.
So I'm sitting here on a Friday night talking to a white screen that does not reply. I have emails to reply to and people to write to, and given the fact that those people are real and living, I really ought to be communicating with them instead of with my own brain cells. Yet I continue typing, I actually think this is therapeutic.
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