Click. And that was it. The moment I've waited the whole day for just ended with a click. I'm starting to be amazed at my own ability to lie to myself. I can tell myself that everyday's better than the last because there's something to look forward to. But its so sad to wait for something to happen and it doesn't. Its even worse to wait for something you know will not happen... and you're proven right. But yet I wait, and hope. I think sometimes I think too highly of the world and the people in it. Perhaps its a darker place than i think it is, or maybe i'm just wearing shades that I can't see.
I'm tired of trying to do things that I can't seem to accomplish. Yet i drag my feet and limp on. Am I just kidding myself? Or will I actually get there? And when I get there... will it be sitting there waiting for me? Or will it have become someone else's prize? I ask myself, why should I care?

People think i'm cool and smart and athletic and happy and whatever. Like real.... haha, the irony of it all... "like real". Like real but not real... I'm just someone who will never be happy with myself until people are happy with me. Wait a minute... but am I ever really happy?

I think its late at night and i'm not thinking right.... goodnight.