--Not even a photo.

Among the list of things I have to do, something keeps nagging at me -- understanding why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling. Something's not right... I seem to have lost something, but can't quite figure it out. Help? There's no zest, no excitement, no thrill... just a desire to fade away.

But there will be negative externalities to fading away I guess. And that's one reason why we shouldn't have responsibilities or relationships with anyone. Then you can't just fade away when you want.

Talking about fading away, I can't do fadeaway jumpers.

I think I need some space, warm space, and some peace and quiet. Enough problems, enough things to do, enough check boxes in my notebook.

Seems like each time I start a conversation with someone, I end up being told to do something else. Why can't it just be talk. Or, even better, I talk they listen. Or best, I tell other people to do stuff for me.

I will take this post down in a day. haha... quite dumb huh. Its sad to feel bad about stuff that comes from myself. But I know i'll just feel bad about writing demoralizing depressing stuff like that. To balance the negativity, I will try and blog about happy stuff soon. As soon as I become happier.