I'm still the same person, though I did think I have changed. Sometimes we think we have changed but if we had some time to think.... we'd realize that we're still the same. Still the same me... making the same silly jokes, forgetting the same silly things... Yeah some things don't change, and I don't think I've really changed either.
When I don't get what I want, I say that my fate isn't in my own hands, though I know it still is... well in a way I guess. I just say it... I dunno, to make myself feel better? Choices are still mine to make... it hurts the most when you make choices for me. Lots of people have made decisions for me...I do try you know, I do try and disagree and fight back and argue and plead and beg and pull a long face but somehow I can't change many things.
Speaking of making choices for people, yeah that's one of the worst things you can do for a person. And to rub salt on the wound, you can say that you're doing it for their own good. So yeah if anyone hates me and you will want to hurt me deep, you know what to do :)
We all go through great lengths to make ourselves feel better, it's just a natural reaction to what life throws at you.
What I have learnt : Talking yourself into something can win you the world but it can also have terrible consequences. Sometimes you think of something that may not be true but you can actually sit there and convince yourself that it's true. And then days go by and weeks and months and after a while you are convinced that you made the right choice and the right decision. No one can say if it's right or wrong, but it's just scary how you can actually convince yourself of something you would have hated yourself for. That's kind of what I'm doing now... I'm making myself believe in something that lots of people will want to hit me on the head for. Well hit me if u must but at least I feel as though I'm making this decision on my own. You can hit me and scold me all you want but you know I'm way too stubborn to listen sometimes.
Being Stubborn. Interesting how it may be the one thing that brings and holds two people together but it can also be the one thing that stops two people from doing what their hearts tell them they should do.
The other thing is Pride.
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I wished I could download netball games from the internet to watch. I like to just sit and watch something. Went to watch Shrek 2 which was a really sad show to me although the entire theatre found it very amusing. I think I cannot watch movies for a while, I need to watch Sponge Bob, but yet I can't watch Nickolodean either, a bunch of guys fighting for a basketball on NBA can bring tears to my eyes too.
If any of u were at home on Saturday afternoon at 2pm and watching Channel 5, you will know why I was in tears too. Now I can give a little :) cos the day has kind of ended and the ending of each day brings me more :) than most other things in the world now.
When I don't get what I want, I say that my fate isn't in my own hands, though I know it still is... well in a way I guess. I just say it... I dunno, to make myself feel better? Choices are still mine to make... it hurts the most when you make choices for me. Lots of people have made decisions for me...I do try you know, I do try and disagree and fight back and argue and plead and beg and pull a long face but somehow I can't change many things.
Speaking of making choices for people, yeah that's one of the worst things you can do for a person. And to rub salt on the wound, you can say that you're doing it for their own good. So yeah if anyone hates me and you will want to hurt me deep, you know what to do :)
We all go through great lengths to make ourselves feel better, it's just a natural reaction to what life throws at you.
What I have learnt : Talking yourself into something can win you the world but it can also have terrible consequences. Sometimes you think of something that may not be true but you can actually sit there and convince yourself that it's true. And then days go by and weeks and months and after a while you are convinced that you made the right choice and the right decision. No one can say if it's right or wrong, but it's just scary how you can actually convince yourself of something you would have hated yourself for. That's kind of what I'm doing now... I'm making myself believe in something that lots of people will want to hit me on the head for. Well hit me if u must but at least I feel as though I'm making this decision on my own. You can hit me and scold me all you want but you know I'm way too stubborn to listen sometimes.
Being Stubborn. Interesting how it may be the one thing that brings and holds two people together but it can also be the one thing that stops two people from doing what their hearts tell them they should do.
The other thing is Pride.
---------------
I wished I could download netball games from the internet to watch. I like to just sit and watch something. Went to watch Shrek 2 which was a really sad show to me although the entire theatre found it very amusing. I think I cannot watch movies for a while, I need to watch Sponge Bob, but yet I can't watch Nickolodean either, a bunch of guys fighting for a basketball on NBA can bring tears to my eyes too.
If any of u were at home on Saturday afternoon at 2pm and watching Channel 5, you will know why I was in tears too. Now I can give a little :) cos the day has kind of ended and the ending of each day brings me more :) than most other things in the world now.
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