Fleeting Fireworks

July 4th came and went. A year ago, and then a week ago. The fireworks were spectacular, the company atop the Sloan rooftop was perfect -- a group of friends at MIT that have become family. I think about last year, and how different things were then. It was a strange feeling. I hear the 1812 concerto and watch the synchronized fireworks and yet my heart felt so so heavy.

My life is happy. Sometimes happy until I get sad that maybe I will not feel like this anymore next time.

Sometimes funny things happen. Like when we had dinner at Green Tea and dessert at Picco. Thinking about the waiter Andy now makes me want to laugh out loud. *Pick up bowl, put down bowl, put down entire tray*. "General Gau's? What is that? Trash!!" hehehe. "Don't get me started on the Big Dig...."

And afterwards icecream at Picco -- made me feel like a traitor because I didn't eat Christina's and because I said Picco was not bad. Not bad, BUT not better for sure! I ain't no fickle-minded customer. I stand by Christina's!

Sometimes I feel sad. Because this is such a happy time of my life -- that I don't want it to end. The company here is, as Sybor would call it, "Outstanding!". And where am I going to find a similar mix of friends? Not even if I walk till the ends of the earth. Actually it would be ok if everyone's going back to Singapore. But those I really will miss will not be.

Don't tell me "Life is like that one lah". That one I can tell myself, no need tape recorders to repeat to me. And it doesn't matter how many times I hear it also. Because if I had things my way, life will not be "like that one".

If I could have things my way,

ribena will never run out, bear's noses will be cold, the french would have opened their eyes while playing soccer,

i would have been a little earlier, a tad braver,

i wouldn't have to go.